#31 - On what we want for our second year
Over the past few weeks, I have had numerous conversations with my classmates about their first year at Kellogg (which finishes this coming week). Despite the diversity of first year experiences (including what people did, who they were around and how much they enjoyed their MBA life), there are three main things that almost every first year student wants in their second year.
We want closer friendships
The one common thread amongst every person I have spoken to this quarter is a desire to form closer, more meaningful friendships.
I have been fortunate enough to have developed a group of close friends at Kellogg, some of whom are closer than my friends back home in Australia. A lot of this comes down to luck, but part of this is also deliberate - I have sacrificed quantity for quality. However, the same is not true for most of the people I spoke to.
Most Kellogg students have a large number of friends with whom they enjoy the MBA experience. These are the friends you see at a CAB event, on a 100 person international trip or at TG. But very few people have, in the words of one of my friends, "people that they would want to invite to their wedding". As I have discussed before, there is a tendency for my classmates to want to keep a large group of friends and spend their energy in maintaining this breadth and "trying everything at the buffet".
In their second year at Kellogg, people want to deepen some of these friendships. People wanted to build closer friendships through smaller group dinners and more one-on-one coffees. They wanted to sacrifice some of their fringe friends to build closer ones, especially as people realise who their true friends are. More than anything, people wanted to build relationships that would last after we all move on with our post-MBA lives after one more year in the Kellogg bubble.
We want to say 'no'
The next most common desire was to say 'no' to more things and generally ignore FOMO.
Kellogg, like most business schools, has an extroverted, party/drinking heavy culture that is perpetuated by a vocal minority. There is nothing wrong this culture. However, people who don't align with this culture feel like they are missing out on the best that business school has to offer if they opt out. Even for people who love this culture, there can be times when it becomes overwhelming and you just need a break.
I had previously written about how giving up could lead to happiness. More of my friends are coming around to this realisation. People are starting to realise that there is no perfect business school experience and that happiness is doing whatever they want to do, with the people they want to surround themselves with.
It can be difficult to make these trade-offs but coming to accept what you enjoy/don't enjoy and spending your time accordingly is a rewarding experience. Instead of going on yacht week this Summer, I am going to travel in Lebanon with a small group of friends. Instead of going to Oktoberfest this Fall (which I know I wouldn't truly enjoy), I am going to Austin City Limits. Instead of going to the 90's party, I decided to sleep in (although I somewhat regret this one...). While it's been hard to say no to each of these, and know that I am sacrificing social capital by doing so, I am sure that my choices will make me happier in the end.
A more radical thing that some of my friends have done is to delete Instagram. It isn't healthy to endlessly spend time watching other people's Stories and wonder why you aren't doing those things/weren't invited.
We want to explore Chicago
My classmates also want to see more of what Chicago has to offer.
Chicago is the third largest city in America, and arguably the most culturally rich after NYC. Chicago is home to incredible music, art, theatre and nature. However, most Kellogg people spend their lives inside of the Evanston bubble, only venturing outside when a trolley/party bus is available.
The realisation that there is only one more year of business school left, and that most people will leave Chicago once they start working, is driving a strong desire for people to want to explore Chicago.
Next year, I want to start a weekly curated Chicago trip, where a small group of people experience a unique part of what Chicago has to offer. If you're interested, let me know.